


Object Permanence

by lupinthenerd



Category: Lupin III
Genre: Angst, Drugs, Gen, Psychological
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-01
Updated: 2015-12-01
Packaged: 2018-05-04 06:57:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5324777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lupinthenerd/pseuds/lupinthenerd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How many times has Lupin decided the victims were just taking a nap? That everyone got out safe? No one died? If he can't see the body count, it never happened, right? When your mind moves so fast, why focus on the little things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Object Permanence

_“They’ll be fine.”_

_“They’ll know how to get out.”_

Excuses, explanations, justifications. He had started to believe them. 

Lupin remembered how he had chastised Fujiko for killing once. How could he let himself become such a hypocrite, then? To admit to what he had done would admit he was wrong.

And Lupin was never  _wrong_ , right?

Lupin had come down from the latest high -  _heist_. Sometimes he couldn’t tell the difference. But he’d come down from it, the adrenaline, nowhere for his mind to go now aside from the past. Couldn’t sleep. He could tell he was agitating Jigen with the way he kept sniffing around, trying to see if he had any left hidden somewhere. 

“I need to go out.”

“We _just_  got back, Lupin,” Jigen grunted. “Sit down.” A tug on Lupin’s sleeve and he staggered back, tripping on his own wiry legs before he landed right over the gunman. Caused him to spill his drink, which made Jigen scowl at him and shove him off. 

“Ass,” Lupin hissed before he sat up from the floor, scratching fingers through his hair. “We didn’t hurt anyone today, right?”

Jigen didn’t respond right away, only to make Lupin’s blood run cold. He scowled up at him. “Oi! Jigen!”

“Why are you asking  _me_?”

Why  _was_  he asking Jigen? Christ, couldn’t he trust his own judgments? There wasn’t any blood under his fingernails, no bullet wounds riddling their bodies. It’d all gone well. A little gunpowder never hurt anyone.

Gun...powder.

Lupin recalled an explosion that day. Reflecting in his eyes, pupils shrunk like pinpricks. No one had been... _inside_ , surely. It was just to use as a distraction. Part of the plan. “No one was inside,” he repeated, as if relieved, before he caught the uncomfortable shift Jigen made in his chair.

The thief stared up at him, brows furrowed. “What? We made sure, didn’t we?”

“Sure.”

That didn’t sound convincing. At all. Lupin gritted his teeth before pushing himself up to his feet, grabbing Jigen by the front of his collar. “Don’t  _fuck_  with me, Jigen! Tell me there weren’t any civilians inside that old construction site!”

He felt knuckles against his cheek, sending him to the side. He hadn’t exactly let go of Jigen’s shirt, both of them tumbling to the floor, glass shattered. “Why the fuck does it matter?” Jigen snarled, tearing those fingers off of him. “You’re always so goddamn strung out all the time, you don’t give me enough time to check!”

Oh, God. Oh.  _God_.

Lupin shoved away to turn over to his side before he threw up. He never checked to see if it was abandoned. It was just so conveniently there.  _He never saw anyone_ , so therefor it was empty. As if he didn’t understand object permanence. Apparently not when he was set on something. 

“Hey,  _hey_.” He could hear Jigen cursing under his breath before he pulled him up to make sure he didn’t choke. Lupin grimaced at the hand roughly catching his chin. “As far as we know, no one got hurt. So they  _didn’t_. End of story. Pops got any survivors out of there. That’s why we did it anyway. Right? Keep him off our asses.”

Yeah. Yeah. 

Jigen was right. Getting worked up over nothing. Lupin nodded, relaxing some. What had he gotten so upset for? They were  _fine_. 

“But if you want to make _sure_ next time, then get your ass clean. Can’t keep fixing all your damn messes.” Jigen tugged Lupin back up onto his feet before lugging him to the sofa. “Now keep your ass on that couch while I clean up your  _last_ one.” 

Lupin grimaced as he kept his head down on the cushion, rubbing at his face with his hand. He watched Jigen quietly. How could he imagine a time Jigen wouldn’t be there to fix everything? Everything, everyone had a breaking point.

But.

Everything was  _fine_.


End file.
